...and anyway: "Olorum morte narratur flebilis cantus, falso, ut arbitror, aliquot experimentis" so take these silly ramblings cum grano salis
Late April 2009 (0023)
Ok, so all the cures I had to undergo for almost two years: two complete and quite debilitating chemotherapy cycles, 4 operations, many biopsies, uncounted PET scans and MRIs, months spent inside a clinic... did not work out.
The metastases escaped from the throat: my dutch professor managed to stop everything but not the liver tumour, and my liver is now imploding. So it is a matter of weeks, not even months.
My remaining choices are to die in a clinic, to die home or to ask for euthanasia (the last I will of course do if needs arise... fortunately this is a civilised EU-country and religious nuts don't have here -at least for now- enough power to nuke my rights just to appease and placate the alleged wishes of their dubious godzilla).
I'll go for home: it seems (again: this ubiquitous "seem") that I will die while asleep. I will "just" get weaker (and yellower, gosh: nothing like a terminal tumour to become really ugly) until one day I won't wake up any more. If so, fair enough: you go with a gentle puff on your final trip, an experience that btw is usually reported as unique and unrepeatable :-)
Anyway if universe and time are really infinite (which I somehow doubt), then an almost "metempsicotically identical" combination of neurons will re-appear again somewhere, e.g. on another galaxy and planet... hopefully one with less imbeciles.
More realistically, I regret not having the time to accompany my kids when they will soon enter university. A part of me should live on through them, though, and I think I did manage to give them some powerful weapons & parachutes (see below) to prepare for the ugly times that anyone with a brain above eggplant level can now easily see against the horizon: The powers that be of our "oh so nice" society have managed to provoke the biggest pyramid scheme in economic history (IMF, 21/04/2009: US bank losses at almost 3 trillions; total world bank losses 4 trillions... no small peanuts he!) all money that -ça va sans dire- poors and slaves will have now to mend and repay!
As an added bonus in the mean time they also managed to destroy -probably irremediably- the whole planet's ecosystem :-|
Sursum corda!Here a small collection of (slightly OT) books, towns and specific places (and games!) that I really enjoyed and by all means recommend to any reverser... ...however please note that this is just another semi-private blabbering, rambling, meandering snippet of searchlores, and you probably don't really need to read it :-)